So I am sorry this is a long story but for the last several weeks I have had preterm labor and this week I have ended up in the hospital/office multiple times for high blood pressure and risk of preeclampsia. Well again tonight I ended up having high bp and because I was having bad symptoms we called the doctor who had me go to the hospital again and wanted me to stay the night for monitoring. Well after getting settled for the night the nurse came in and told me that I was being discharged...she also proceeded to lecture me for being too anxious and over reacting, she then accused my husband of being too paranoid and upsetting me too much. She said that everything going on was being caused by my anxiety and that if I dont calm down I am going to have this baby too early and he is going to end up in the NICU...
Well up until this point we have followed everything the doctors have said to a T. I mean anything they have said to call about we have called about and every time they have said to come in, we have come in. Honestly, I have been very reluctant to listen to them because it has been a pain being in and out so much, but my husband has been very good and following their directions and trying to take good care of me and Lucas.
So I didnt appreciate the nurse telling us that my symptoms were caused by OUR anxiety and that we were over reacting. I told her frankly that I have NOT been freaking out about these symptoms on my own, and aside from one night where I had bad contractions, I have not actually wanted to come in but I have called the doctor because I have been following their instructions they keep giving me. I told her that they have been freaking me out so much telling me that if I have any of these symptoms I have to call in or my baby could be in danger and that has made myself a paranoid wreck! I also said I am sick of being told one minute Baby is going to come early prepare yourself, and then that I really need to work to get this baby out cause he is gonna be HUGE, and then next being told I am going to be induced! Between all of those things I have been so upset thinking that I need to have this baby ASAP or something is wrong with me or gonna be wrong with him.
Well after all of that the nurse completely apologized and said she was making an assumption that I was just overly anxious and paranoid but what she thinks is actually happening is that the doctors are having to follow protocol and since I am following their directions "perfectly" I am not giving them any choice but to tell me to come in and run tests even when they dont think anything is wrong. And again being perfectly honest I figured this was the case just from my own experiences in nursing school So she said that her advice is to follow my gut. I told her I have been scared to follow it because they make it sound so scary if I dont, and I never want to pull the "I have nurses training so I know better than the doctor" card. But she did a lot of confidence boosting saying that I know my body and not to call the doctor unless your gut is telling you something is off. She said I really need to trust my nurse and mommy instinct at this point and ignore the doctors who are over reacting because of protocols. She also said no matter how much they scare me with inductions, size of the baby, or preterm labor; I need to just assume he is going to go 40 weeks and that he will be just fine.
Honestly this is exactly what I needed to hear. I hate how freaked out I have been with all the mixed things they have told me. The night I had bad contractions I am really glad I went in....but the times they have either sent me over there during an appointment or we have called due to their criteria, and I have not felt right about it, all it has done is upset me. So basically I am going to take the pressure off myself to have this baby any time soon, and relax about the symptoms I am having. If I start to really feel like something is wrong or it is time. I will go in but other than that I am sticking to listening to my own body and not the doctors. I have faith that God will direct me in this and help guide me in the right direction. =)